Since my last blog entry, the world I live in has changed and shifted. Moving to Utah has been a big deal, creating peace and and stress simultaneously the way some life-altering events can do during a reinvention phase. Because there is so much to say, I'm not going to give the traditional update; If you're close to me, you already know that stuff anyway.Lately, much of my concentration has focused on instilling real meaning into my world; a Herculean task, I believe, if it's to be accomplished truthfully. Fact: life throws much at us of which we have little or no control. These events are as inevitable as change itself so I will deal with them as necessary and because I don't live inside of a hermetically sealed bubble, I expect the unexpected to occur. The kinds of events I can exercise control over and edit liberally, however, are entirely different.
My attention focuses on events placed by my own hand. Think of life as a mind-twisting puzzle, one of those with extra pieces that don't belong. These pieces, carefully disguised, have the potential to delay progress and encourage throwing in the towel. To reach the goal of successful puzzle completion the steps are simple; find a "false" piece, remove it and continue placing "real" pieces. The more successful you are at identifying what doesn't fit into your puzzle/life, the more likely you will reach your goal.
So, as I examine my world, and progress toward achievement (inherently, my goal has no finish line), I recognize that what I include is as important as the goal itself. Those things I accept, attitudes I hold and people I choose to trust are integrated into my life and I want to incorporate them into my puzzle; if something is not an honest fit, it's my responsibility to place it aside. I have become less tolerant of that/those which/who bring disquiet and unease to my life and have less trouble placing them aside than I did years ago. Age and experience has created a more discriminating me and personally, I like this evolution.
I wouldn't presume to say we have total control over our destination if we only get rid of the bad bits. We find ourselves, from time to time, in places we had no intention of going because wedges have very thin edges and don't hurt when they begin to cleave. In my existence, however, I choose to become more honestly aware of life, what brings happiness, what heart and mind respond to (intellectually and spiritually) and adjust as necessary.
During my reinvention, I owe myself no less.
